The Synaxis Universal is governed by a College of Cardinals, chosen and annointed by THE CARDINAL ECCLESIARCH - His Eminence Cardinal Mark VI. The Basic Truths, or Cardinal Verities exist as guidelines for all members, and are observed with a fervor bordering on stupidity. The College of Cardinals answers only to the Cardinal Ecclesiarch, who in turn answers only to the voices in his head, who we suspect are the spirits of Moe Howard, General George Patton, and Elvis, among others. The Synaxis Universal is not for the fainthearted, thus the active discouraging of actual membership in favor of large, frequent, and (please note) tax deductible donations. The Church also welcomes gifts, bequests, and endowments, plus we encourage the purchase of indulgences at exhorbitant rates (with reasonable payment plans available). 

 Most of the Cardinal Verities of the Synaxis Universal are kept hidden inside a copy of the Partridge Family's "Sound Magazine LP jacket in a secret remote compound guarded by snarling vicious boxweilers (a near psychotic breed of canine produced by the unholy mating of champion Boxer and Rottweiller bloodlines). Fortunately, some of them have been revealed. Most of these Revelations have occurred during rambling, extended, manic, near Hitlerian tirades of His Eminence while under the influence of extended exposure to Professional Wrestling, the Collected Works of Doctor Gene Scott, and/or the music of Yoko Ono. This has led to a singularly eclectic set of Revealed truths that are no less true because of their eclecticism. Not since Nietzsche has such a radical set of philosophical fragments been assembled to confound and annoy the prominent philosphers and theologians of the world.
 

 
To study the Cardinal Verities Thou must CLICKETH HERE
 
ADVENT